April 30, 2004

I Better Get Busy!

According to this I only have 1,505,720,829 seconds left to live. I think you're better off not knowing.

Posted by Clancy at 4:33 PM | Comments (3)

April 29, 2004

Give – Help!

If you’ve given to the Spirit of America – then good. While you’re at it, here’s something else you can do (and this one’s cheaper). Read this letter from a Marine in Iraq and do your part to help! Here’s a taste:

…Our enemy has learned that the key to defeating the mighty American military is by swaying public opinion at home and abroad. We are a people that cherish the democratic system of government and therefore hold the will of the people in the highest regard. We love to criticize ourselves almost to an endless degree, because we care what others think. Our enemies see this as a weakness and are trying to exploit it.

When we ask ourselves questions like, "Why do they hate us?" or "What did we do wrong?" we are playing into our enemies' hands. Our natural tendency to question ourselves is being used against us to undermine our effort to do good in the world. How far would we have gotten if after the surprise attacks on December 7, 1941 at Pearl Harbor, we would have asked, "Why do the Japanese hate us so much?" or "How can we change ourselves so that they won't do that again?" Here in Iraq the enemy is trying very hard to portray our efforts as failing and fruitless. They kill innocents and desecrate their bodies in hopes that the people back home will lose the will to fight for liberty. They are betting on our perceived weakness as a thoughtful, considerate people. Unfortunately our media only serves to further their cause.

He pretty much nails it.

Posted by Clancy at 1:54 PM

April 28, 2004

Honor & Pictures

There has been much controversy over showing pictures of the flag draped coffins in Dover. As much as I am for the freedom of the press, I personally believe it is a matter of honor – and it’s the honor that will surely be soiled by opportunistic journalists with an agenda. This site obtained the pictures.

Matt received a letter from a Marine Lieutenant that was recently charged with escorting remains of one of our fallen countrymen home. Go read it. And then explain to me how a single picture can say all of that.

Are you still here? Go!

Posted by Clancy at 5:20 PM | Comments (2)

April 26, 2004

My First & Last Post on this Topic...

At the march this weekend in DC, Maxine Waters is reported to have said:

“I have to march because my mother could not have an abortion.”

Amen sister.

Posted by Clancy at 4:24 PM

Outwit, Outlast, Outpool…

Survivor is number one in my bad TV viewing habits. I’ve been pretty much addicted since the first season. Fortunately, I have lots of friends and co-workers suffering from the same addiction.

We started a little survivor pool in the office 4-5 weeks ago. The object of our pool is to pick the next survivor to be voted off. Since the numbers are getting small we’ve added a vote to the immunity winner to serve as a tie-breaker. Last week I nailed it all the way by getting both the immunity winner and the person snubbed. It was my second straight win.

Since we’re getting down to it I’ve given this some thought and decided to make my picks public to the end of the game. I’m pretty sure my only reader and fellow pool playing co-worker already knows my picks since we discuss this several times a week (pathetic, huh?). Anyway – here they are:

Amber & Rob are the final two. Amber wins the Million. Rob wins Amber.
Jenna finishes 3rd
Rupert finishes 4th
Big Tom finishes 5th
ShiiAnn finished 6th

The Rupert / BigTom finishing order may switch. I have a feeling Rupert still has a immunity win in him. I think his strategy is to take it to the final two by winning immunity. Unfortunately for him, BostonRob isn’t going to let that happen.

Also – if the Amber/Rob love thing is for real (and I think it is), and assuming Rob has any class (not sure that’s possible – he is from Boston - :-) ), he should have a nice fat diamond ring for Amber in the finale. That way, if he wins (only if he wins), he could hit his knee right there in front of the whole world. That would make this the ultimate reality show of all time. (And Burnett would probably give him another million.)

Posted by Clancy at 11:38 AM | Comments (1)

April 23, 2004

Blood for Oil

I’m so glad that we’re in Iraq & Afghanistan kicking ass right now. I am enjoying the $1.80/gallon gasoline prices. I imagine that if we weren’t over there stealing all their oil right now we might still be paying those exorbitant pre-war prices of $1.35/gallon.

OK, I admit, the above paragraph sounds pretty stupid. Just about as stupid as the “No Blood for Oil” slogan the left likes to toss around.

The truth is that oil is of vital economic interest to the United States just as it is for every other industrialized nation. So, yes, part of our “War on Terror” is aimed at stabilizing a region that is of vital economic interest.

And while the rest of the world thinks that Americans are driven by their pocketbooks (and admittedly, we are often just as guilty of that as everyone else); what they cannot understand is our collective desire for freedom and liberty.

I firmly believe that they cannot understand the American idea of freedom because they have never experienced it. The countries of Europe have never had the same kind of freedom and liberty that we do as Americans. There are many differences I could illustrate, but most of them are small and seemingly in-coincidental, but there is one example that I believe definitively exemplifies the difference between European “freedom” and American “freedom.”

Guns. Guns represent power. He, who wields the gun, wields the power. Most European countries do not trust their citizenry with guns and do not allow them to posses them.

Our founding fathers though that the right to possess and bear arms was so important that they made it the second amendment – second only to the amendment that outlines exactly what freedom is. They recognized that there may come a day when the guns protected by the second amendment would be required to protect the first. As amazing and incomprehensible as this foresight may seem, the truth is they had just exercised it with the revolutionary war. This is freedom.

And this freedom is the higher calling that motivates Americans more than our pocketbooks.

Many of my fellow countrymen have died as a direct result of the 9/11 attacks. Those that died in the attacks (with the possible exception of those on United Flight 93) had no idea that they were giving their lives for the American idea of freedom. But I have little doubt that any of those servicemen and women who have given their lives since then ever questioned it.

Furthermore, these servicemen and women understand that this idea of freedom is not just for us Americans alone. Sure, peace in the Middle East would benefit the US economically, just as it would benefit the rest of the world, but that is not why we are there and not why they are giving their lives. They realize that if we can successfully promote freedom in Iraq, that it will spread to the rest of the region and that this is the ONLY way there will ever be peace in the Middle East.

The bottom line is that this war is not about money or oil. It’s about freedom. What else would explain why a 27 year old star football player would give up millions of dollars and a successful football career to fight? Go read all of this and tell me how you can come to any other conclusion.

Posted by Clancy at 3:27 PM

April 20, 2004


For some, today’s date is representative of a time to “smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.” Before that dumb bit of subculture trivia, it was simply remembered as Hitler’s Birthday. But five years ago, two very misguided kids commemorated one of the world’s most deranged monsters by becoming monsters themselves. There are those who believe this tragedy can be attributed to American’s easy access to guns and our supposed and collective fear of black people. Yeah. Sure.

The real reasons have been explored and are explained here. The simple conclusion is that Dylan Klebold was a hothead who was depressed and suicidal. And Eric Harris was a psychopath (in the grand sense).

Harris and Klebold would have been dismayed that Columbine was dubbed the "worst school shooting in American history." They set their sights on eclipsing the world's greatest mass murderers, but the media never saw past the choice of venue. The school setting drove analysis in precisely the wrong direction.

Read it all. I’m sure the major media markets will never discuss the real reasons. They prefer the misguided opinions of assholes.

Posted by Clancy at 10:11 PM | Comments (1)

April 19, 2004

It Could Happen

As a direct result of the announcement last week by fellow bloggers Trey Givens and Jim Peacock, the national media is starting to acknowledge their campaign.

Today’s Philadelphia Inquirer asks its readers the question; If pigs could fly, what wild things might happen? (registration required).

The pigs will fly toward the hot sun and bacon will fall from the sky. - Jeremy Ellis, grade 4, Evans School, Marlton

Pigs can fly? "They're so cute. Mom, can I have one for a pet, please?" - Lauren Huckel, grade 4, Rush Intermediate School, Cinnaminson

I think the air pollution problem would get a lot worse! - Shaneice Price, grade 5, McCloskey School, Philadelphia

Our ham would be very skinny. - Erin Kitley, grade 7, Delran Middle School, Delran

They could party up on a cloud. Courtney Brodzick, grade 3, Seabrook School, Seabrook, N.J. Cows could surf, giraffes could climb, and toothpicks could walk. - Kenny Selwood, grade 3, Mullica Township Primary School, Elwood, N.J.

You might see pigs flying south for the winter. Dan Berkowitz, grade 7, Jenkintown Middle School, Jenkintown The pigs might get laser beam eyes and destroy the world? Moohahahahaha! - Harry Taggart, grade 3, Greenfield School, Philadelphia

I would run and hide. - Maddie Burghardt, age 3, the Goddard School of Mullica Hill, N.J.

I would get a flying carpet to catch them, then put them in the zoo. - Jamaine Jaconski, grade 1, Sullivan School, Philadelphia

The pigs would let all the animals free. - Katrina Dagenais, grade 1, Merion Elementary School, Merion

They could take me for a ride to New York City to see a show. They would fly to other farms to visit their friends. - Blaise Bowes, grade 2, J.H. Brown School, Philadelphia

My mom would say "No thanks" to chocolate ice cream! - Jimmy Swartz, grade 5, Blue Bell Elementary School, Blue Bell

Bats would come out at night and suck their blood. - Symone Tibbs, grade 1, Parkview school, Stratford

They might take over our solar system. - Mark De Jesse, grade 3, Columbus Charter School, Philadelphia

If the pigs fly near the sun they could get a sunburn. - Marcus Dade, grade 2, Paul V. Fly School, Norristown

At Disney World there would be a ride where you are in the place of a flying pig. - Courtney Lenny, grade 3, Elizabeth Haddon School, Haddonfield

I'd turn into a bowling ball, live on sushi, and say MOO all day. But my sister would change into a giant hot dog, and go around outside skipping in a pretty pink tutu with a matching pretty pink bow saying, "I like rainbows, unicorns and bunnies!" - Caroline Coloracci, grade 2, Maple Glen Elementary School, Maple Glen

I would be freaked out a lot. - Mackenzie Stoduto, grade 3, Fort Washington Elementary School, Fort Washington

People would have contests to see if they can throw a football faster than a flying pig. - Danielle Fagnani, grade 8, Disston School, Philadelphia

I’m not sure – but this doesn’t really sound like a strong endorsement for the Givens/Peacock ticket.

Posted by Clancy at 3:01 PM | Comments (3)

April 14, 2004

April 13, 2004

Waffles, Get Your Waffles Here!

Blackfive links to a great story about a fellow blogger, Ken Jacobson of esoteric-diatribe, who has started a google-bomb.

Ironically, the google bomb has had no effect on google. (Frank learned this lesson a long time ago when he tried to get the blogfather to come up under “liberal assclown” – that only ever achieved about 22 or so on the google rank.)

Fortunately, the #1 result on MSN, Yahoo, & Lycos for Waffles is… Waffles!

Isn't the internet grand?

I think I just learned why hyperlinks shouldn't reside in post titles. Movable Type doesn't appear to like it very much. Here is the permalink to this post, if anyone is interested.

Posted by Clancy at 10:48 AM

The Canadians are Confused…

First there’s this story about how Canada is so much more tolerant of nudity.

Junos host Alanis Morissette stripped down to a flesh-coloured body suit, complete with fake nipples and a giant mop of pubic hair, and declared, "I am overjoyed to be back in my homeland, the true North, strong and censor-free."

So… Ms. Morissette equates nudity with censorship. If what she says is indeed fact, then explain this one to me.

Bill C-250, an anti-free-speech measure that is on the brink of becoming law in Canada. It would add "sexual orientation" to the Canadian hate propaganda law, thus making public criticism of homosexuality a crime.

Not that I condone pubic criticism of homosexuality. (IMHO, Bible thumpers who use the Old Testament as justification for their bigotry are really just demonstrating their ignorance.)

Anyway... censor-free? I think not.

Posted by Clancy at 10:15 AM

April 9, 2004

First Amendment Repealed

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is in dire need of frequent and repeated treatments of a Cluebat™. First he refuses to recuse himself from a case where the conflict of interest was obvious to everyone except elitist pricks like himself and now this:

...Scalia ordered two reporters to erase audio recordings they were making of Scalia's speech to a group of high school students in Mississippi on Wednesday, prompting protests from local journalists who said they were victims of official interference with the press.

Marshal Melanie Rube confronted the journalists and told them they must erase their recordings because they violated the justice's policy against audio- or videotaping of his public appearances.

"The deputy's actions were based on Justice Scalia's long-standing policy prohibiting such recordings of his remarks," David Turner, a spokesman for the U.S. Marshals Service, said.

He didn’t charge admission, his speech isn’t copyrighted, and he’s a public figure making a public speech. Did someone rescind the first amendment while I wasn’t paying attention? Someone, please explain to me why this can be allowed to happen.

Posted by Clancy at 8:36 AM | Comments (4)

April 8, 2004

Condi Rocks!

The puppy blender already pointed this out, but I believe this statement is so profound that it bears repeating.

Taken from Condoleezza Rice’s testimony today, speaking on progress toward a democracy in the new Iraq:

“So it's going to be a slow process. We know that the building of democracy is tough. It doesn't come easily. We have our own history. When our Founding Fathers said, "We the people," they didn't mean me. It's taken us a while to get to a multiethnic democracy that works.”
Posted by Clancy at 4:37 PM

More Dumb TV...

Building on the success of ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,’ Bravo has announced that it will spin off the idea to ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Girl.’ I predict failure, but that’s an easy call as most spin-offs usually do. I know there are women out there who are fashionably impaired, but really, how interesting can this show possibly be? If they really want to make this interesting, may I suggest ‘Straight Eye for the Bull Dyke.’ Each episode could end with the straight girls getting their asses beat by the diesel dyke. That would be entertaining…

Posted by Clancy at 4:14 PM

April 7, 2004

Bill Whittle for President*

The Whittler doesn’t write often, but when he does he almost always hits one out of the park.

There were many people who, in good conscience, were against our presence in Vietnam. Many today feel the same about Iraq. But the fact remains for both groups: this argument is good and necessary before we go to war; once there, they enemies of America have one way and one way only to defeat this nation, and that is from within. They are counting on Janeane Garofolo and Kos and Michael Moore and Sarandon and Franken and Rather. The bodies on the Fallujah bridge are for them. And, sadly, it seems they know their audience.

But if our enemies can learn from Vietnam and Beirut and Mogadishu… so can we.

Chin up! These car-bombing cowards who hide behind women and children have made a monumental miscalculation.

Go read it all. Now.

Are you still here!? Go!.

*My apologies to Trey & Jim

Posted by Clancy at 1:08 PM | Comments (2)

April 5, 2004

The City

GF and I went to ‘The City’ for a weekend get-away. We stayed in a nice hotel off 5th Avenue and caught a 'Phantom of The Opera' at the Majestic Theater. We both enjoy the occasion theater, but this was our first Broadway show and we thought Phantom would be a good way to start our new Broadway habit. And it was. 'Wicked' is next on the list.

New York is indeed a great town – we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and learned quite a lot. Below, in no particular order, are some of my observations:

  • Chic, trendy hotels are staffed by the same.
  • That is of no help at 2 o’clock in the morning when all you want is a synthetic pillow (because you’re allergic to feather pillows).
  • Wrapping the pillow with a towel is an effective alternative.
  • At the theater – the ‘will call’ line can often be the faster route inside.
  • Always check your waiter’s math skills (add up your own bill).
  • Times Square is for tourists. Real New Yorkers eat and shop elsewhere.
  • In most stores – everything is negotiable.
  • Manhattan is the pinnacle of capitalism. Anybody who’s anybody needs an office in Manhattan. And if you have an office in Manhattan, it must be extraordinarily opulent.
  • All the problems in a cabbies world can seemingly be solved with a honk.
  • All honks are not created equal. The frequency and duration is actually a super-secret New York cabbie type of Morse code.
  • The subway is excellent transportation as long as you don’t have to go cross town.
  • If you have to go cross town, never try to catch a cab at 4:00 PM. It’s shift change time and they are all out of service or will only take a fare is it’s going back to the garage (which is always up or downtown from where you are).
  • The 4:00 rule hold true for the police too. If you want to be a criminal in New York, do it at shift change.
  • The above two rules are common knowledge for all New Yorkers.
  • A ‘Short’ block in midtown Manhattan is 1/10 of a mile. ‘Long’ blocks are 1/5 of a mile.
  • Do not walk 40+ blocks BEFORE you go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
  • NJ Rail conductors are conductors for a reason, and that reason is not a love for trains.
  • Although they act like they do, NJ Rail conductors do not have the authority to arrest you, but they have radios and can call someone who does.
  • If you have ever considered living in New Jersey, ride NJ Rail into New York first. The view out of the train window is almost bleak and depressing enough to make you forget about your rage against the dickheaded conductor with the child molester mustache.

Posted by Clancy at 3:03 PM | Comments (1)

April 1, 2004

It’s April 1st & You Know What That Means

Frank Kills Chomps!

Jim tries to catch a worm

Helen has a birthday – Happy Birthday Helen!

Then there's the N-Car!

And the best news today is how a Canadian judge played a huge April Fools joke on RIAA.

UPDATE: Another April Fools Joke! (OK, maybe they are serious, but ... Ah nevermind. It IS a joke. I promise.)

Posted by Clancy at 8:46 AM