Crime Does Pay!

Do you need a no interest loan with generous repayment terms? It’s easy – just follow these four simple steps.

1. Live in Delaware and steal borrow from your employer. (Precedence limits your borrowing limit to about $37,000)
2. Make sure you get Federal public defense attorney Eleni Kousoulis to represent you.
3. Pray you get Judge Gregory Sleet to preside over your case.
4. Remind your attorney to argue that you when you stole borrowed the money you were suffering from depression and low self-esteem.

In return you can expect to get 1 hour in Jail (the courthouse jail – not the REAL joint), 3 years of probation, and be ordered to repay your (now former) employer “no less than $100 a month” with no interest charges.

This is not a joke.