Counting Blessings

Yet another contribution from GF

The conversation started with, “We are so very, very lucky,” as he kissed the back of my neck. I was stirring a hot pot of couscous at the time so I couldn’t throw my arms around him like I wanted to, but I did nod my head in agreement. ‘True, my love,’ I thought, ‘we are very lucky... so which blessing will we count today?’

I moved on to chopping vegetables as he continued. He had gone to lunch with a couple of co-workers, and one of them had predicted very definitively that his marriage has only about 3 years left.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because he just can’t stand his wife,” he replied as he shook his head.

Just can’t stand his wife.

What??!!!

How does this sort of thing happen? I look at him and I see my very best friend in the whole world. The one person I would rather spend time with than anyone else. The one person I can be myself with always, whoever that may be at any given moment. The person whose life now intertwines with mine so completely that separation without utter devastation has become impossible. Is this not how it’s supposed to be with the person you commit to spending the rest of your life with??

So how do you get to the point of seeing the end of such a relationship on the horizon and make the choice NOT to do something...?

I do not understand.

He and I are not hopeless romantics. We have been through far too much in our lives, and with each other, to wear the rose-colored glasses that make everything look perfect and beautiful... and “forever” isn’t a word in our vocabulary. But we do recognize that, in taking the marriage vows that are in our very near future, we are committing to the effort required to NOT walk away.

We are committing ourselves to the understanding that life is not static and our relationship must grow and change as we do.

We are committing ourselves to the compromise and communication needed to keep us working towards the same goals and priorities.

We are committing ourselves to an equal partnership in which the needs and wants of “us” far outweigh the needs and wants of “me” or “you”.

We are committing ourselves to the belief that there is no one “better” out there – only us being better together.

And we are committing ourselves to the respect it takes to never, ever bide our time with one another.

Our relationship is not about “I love you and need you forever”... it is “I love you, and each and every day I choose you because a life together is better and more fulfilling that a life apart.” And should the day ever come when that is not true, and a time clock starts ticking over our heads, then I hope we choose action rather than letting it all slip away.

So what blessing will we count today?

All of them.

Every day.