Breakups

Helen writes about breakups today (among other things) and she inspired me to tell this long winded story:

Several years ago I was introduced (via email) to an incredibly interesting women (to keep this coherent, I will call her Marie). We traded a few emails and were working on coordinating our schedules to finally meet when another friendship took a romantic turn and sparked intense feelings. I had been genuinely excited to meet Marie, but in light of my present situation the only thing I could do was break it off, and I did. To make matters worse, Marie had sent me her picture and was convinced when I broke it off that it was because of her picture. She sent me an angry email in reply.

The friendship-turned-romantic-interest sputtered along (twice) for the next 5 months before dying in a heap of flames in a small cold cabin in Lake Placid New York 2 days before New Years.

A month or so later, cleaning out old emails (I keep some forever, I think) I stumbled across emails from Marie. I re-read them with interest and wondered if she was still around and available. I sent a tentative email and explained the first “breakup.” (Do cyber relationships even count?) Whatever I wrote, I must have been convincing because this time we actually met. And we really hit it off well. We talked and talked and talked some more. All in all, it lasted 6-7 weeks and was starting to get serious (I’m somewhat old fashioned when it comes to serious relationships) when she gave me the; “It’s me” line. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t accept it real well either. I’d been dumped before – can you say Lake Placid – but this was somehow different.

I went through an ugly period after that. It wasn’t related to Marie, it was all my doing, but I skimmed along the edge of depression for a while and took part in several less than healthy relationships. I was trying to clean myself up and break away from the unhealthy relationships when I got a really long email from Marie. She apologized for the last break-up and explained that she’d done some serious introspection and could explain what happened and really wanted the opportunity to do so.

So we did. We had several dates and things were looking up when another person I had had interest in and had been talking (before Marie Part 2) too finally reciprocated the interest. She and I hit it off very well and in an extremely short period of time. All of this made me start questioning myself about Marie – if I really had a thing for Marie, why would I have been so strongly drawn to this other person so quickly. I didn’t want to string both of them along, that wasn’t healthy or fair and nothing good could come of it. I knew I had to cut one of them loose. And Marie was coming over for dinner.

I tried to carry on like nothing was wrong, but Marie was pretty smart and she saw through me. After dinner I confessed that something wasn’t right. I didn’t know what it was but something wasn’t right. She got upset, blamed herself for the last breakup and left in tears. And I felt like dog-doo. OK, worse than dog-doo. And karma being what it is, the other relationship turned sour almost immediately thereafter.

A week after Marie left in tears, I was checking some seldom used email accounts when I found and email from Marie that was already 3 or 4 days old. I don’t remember exactly what the email said, but I do remember one line. She wrote that we seemed we have different paths to take in life but if I ever found that the road led back to her, that I should dare to take it.

Six months unhealthy dead-end relationships later I turned 34 years old. I had spent the day before my birthday with my mother and when she asked about women and relationships I told her about Marie. I had been thinking about Marie for about two weeks before, but I was still undecided about what to do. I had even started composing an email to Marie, but it was languishing unfinished in my draft folder at home. I knew she’d left the door open, but I didn’t dare want to hurt her again. I didn’t want to risk knocking unless I was sure I was willing to walk through the door…

That day at work, I got an email from Marie:

'Gone' doesn't mean forgotten. Happy Birthday - may the year bring all that's best.

- It seems I’ve written about this part before. Marie (not her real name) is GF (also not her real name). -

And more of the story goes on here.

And there’s even more, but for that you’ll have to wait a little while longer…

But only until tomorrow!