The Customer is Always Stupid

I’m sorry – it appears that this site is becoming a place for me to vent my spleen. I’ve had two customer service encounters in the last 24 hours that just plain suck.

The first is with UPS. UPS has incredible systems for moving millions of packages all over the world, it’s their human systems that suck. I bought something on eBay 2 weeks ago. Before I placed the bid, I emailed the seller and asked if they would have any problem shipping USPS to a P.O. Box. I use a PO Box for several reasons – I am never home when the UPS guy comes and if I have to sign, he leaves a note and I have to go pick it up anyway. Picking it up sucks as the delivery center is across town and requires fighting rush-hour traffic, blah, blah, blah – if I wanted that headache I’d just go to the store. Besides, my PayPal account is tied to my P.O. Box and the Post office is 3 blocks away from work and I go there 3-4 times a week. Anyway, the seller replied that they would have no trouble shipping to a P.O. Box.

And they didn’t. They had a new guy working in their shipping department and he shipped to my P.O. Box using UPS. So, OK, he screwed up. But, don’t you think that UPS should confirm that the package is not going to an undeliverable address? (such as PO, APO, etc?) NooOOOoo. The package made it all the way to my local delivery center before someone realized that they couldn’t deliver it. UPS called and wanted a physical address. I explained that I wouldn’t be there, the delivery guy would leave a note, and I’d we’d be back in the same situation we were currently in. So, they offered to hold it for a week (normal practice). I told them that I was unwilling to drive cross town in rush-hour traffic and that I instead wanted them to return it to the sender. I had already spoken with the seller and they agreed to re-send the product USPS – they admitted their mistake and apologized and promised to make it right.

So, I’ve been checking my PO box wondering when I’ll get my package. It’s been 10 days since I told UPS to return the package so it reasons that I should be getting it soon. Alas, yesterday, there still was nothing. Fortunately, I still had a notepad with the shipping number so I called UPS yesterday to confirm my suspicions. Yes, the package is still in the system – It’ll be delivered today! To. The. Seller. It didn’t leave my local deliver center until last Friday (1 week from when the got it – as per their normal hold rules.) Those stupid, fricking, morons did not return it to the sender when I asked them too.

With all the time I have invested emailing the seller and talking to morons at UPS, this thing has cost me more than if I’d just gone to sears and bought it outright. And while the seller has some responsibility in this mess – they get to pay shipping to and from, plus USPS now too. They lost money on this deal. UPS hasn’t lost anything. Well, except perhaps me as a customer. From now on, I will go out of my way to avoid using them even if it costs me more money. I’m stubborn and stupid like that.

My second fun experience has to do with the new house. Closing is a week away and we’re setting up utilities – electric, phone, cable, trash, etc. So yesterday I called the cable company to setup cable (including my broadband – Yeah!! back to cable after 8 months of slow-ass dsl!) We’re taking some vacation days between closing and moving to work on the house so I scheduled the install for one of those vacation days.

Then I started thinking. The house has an antenna on the roof. The former owners were old and they traveled a lot and for some reason I began to doubt that they actually had cable. So, last night, on the way home we stopped by the house so I could walk around it and look for an outside cable connection. I didn’t find one. Fortunately, there is a line pole on the property line between our house and our neighbor’s house. Casual observation reveals three lines going to the neighbors house, and just two lines going to ours. Power – check, check; Phone – check, check; Cable – check, uh oh. Hmmm… A few minutes later our new neighbor came home. I asked him if he knew where his cable line came in – he pointed to the pole and described the same line I had just figured out. He agreed that the previous owner was likely to have responded, “Cable? Bah! Channels 3, 6 and 10 are free – who need cable?” if were able to ask him about cable.

So this morning I called the cable company back. I explained that we weren’t in the house yet, but I was pretty sure that the house does not have a line from the street. I described the pole and told her she just might want to make sure that the technician brings a bucket truck in case he needs to run a line to the house (actually, a tall ladder would do).

The phone rep tried to be helpful and told me not to worry, the technician would check that out when he got there. She went on to explain that since the address is in their system, then the house must be wired. The part she wouldn't acknowledge or realize is that perhaps the house was wired at one time and may not be any more. (How hard would it be to take down an unused line hanging 12 feet over your head in the privacy of your own back yard? – No very.)

I said that I didn't want the technician to show up on Friday the 25th and say he can't do anything because there is no line from the street. She said that could still happen. If there is no line, then the technician may have to call a survey crew, etc, yada, yada, yada… I’m sorry – why did I call back in the first place?

Whatever. I'll wait until we close and search the house myself. If I don't come up with a hidden underground feed that comes up inside the house (possible, though very unlikely), I'll call back and ask for someone with a brain. I can be a customer service reps worst nightmare when I want to be…

Anyway, I guess the moral of these stories are - no matter what - the customer is always stupid.